Emotional Affair, the Silent Marriage Breaker
Posted: Wednesday, January 20, 2010
by Olalekan Ashiru
http://www.romanticaccord.com
An emotional affair is when you or your significant other starts an adult friendship (mostly with the opposite sex) that goes too far. This is not when one person physically cheats on another; it is when they seek out the love, and affection, of somebody besides their significant other. People who found themselves in Emotional Affairs, most of the time start out innocently enough, but if there is no quick resolution of the real causes, these adult friendships may result in a dangerous metamorphosis of another form of relationship. While an emotional affair is a form of cheating, many times, the "cheating" partner may not see it as such initially.
Something must have happened to a marital relationship before either of the partners gets himself/herself involved in an emotional affair. The following are some of the causes of emotional affair and tips on how to handle them.
Firstlove Syndrome
Many young married people most of the time found themselves involved with the challenge of forgetting or doing away with their first love (especially the women). This may be so if they lost contact with such people before their marriage and stumble on them after marriage. Many young couples ignorantly found it difficult to handle such situation; they may end up starting a fresh platonic relationship without notifying their significant order. When there is a little problem at home and the partner involved shares his/her problem with the fisrtlove, some kind of emotional attachment can develop from there and this may lead to the practice of infidelity. The best way to handle such occurrence is to be blunt and firm, by telling the firstlove that you are now married and you should also inform your husband about the situation.
Inadequate communication at home
Adequate communication brings about more love and affection to a marriage relationship and lack of it bring about Loneliness and results in couples living like room mates rather than lovers. One of the secrets of enduring relationship is adequate communication, the couple should strive to structure their marriage in a away that they can discuss just about anything under the sun with each other. From love, business, family, friends to finance. This way they will be very close to each other and their will be love and strong affection between them. This way neither of them will discuss what should be discussed at home with an outsider. And the only emotional feeling of attachment they will have will be for each other.
Lack of trust
Never, ever let trust be the main issue of your marriage, if you don't trust your partner, you may end up spying on him/her and this is not healthy for your relationship. Some people even go as far as hiring a private investigator to track their spouse, all because there is no trust. If your partner gets to know that you don't trust them they may end up being secretive and discrete in their dealings outside the home in order not to hurt your feelings. They will end up discussing what they should have discussed with you with a friend or colleague at work, who may be the opposite sex and gradually shift their confidence in you to another person. The way out is that you should always have an open mind and be confident that your partner belongs to you and you only. Always ensure that you clarify any issue or rumor you hear from any source whatsoever with your spouse
Absence of or inadequate sex
Adequate sex contributes largely to affection in marriage. Sexual problems start from incompatibility in level of libido. If this is the case, there is no way their will be no problem. This may result in one partner always initiating sex and if this continues for a long time, such partner may not be comfortable with the trend. My Personal experiences with couples have revealed that in some marriages, a partner may be okay with sex once in a week, while the other may want it every day! How do you think relationships like this will not have problem. To encourage sexual harmony in marriage, couples should always handle and discuss sexual problem and always reach a mutual conclusion on the way forward. Whatever the problem, be it premature ejaculation, low libido or even impotence. The way out of all these is for the husband to share his sexual problems with the wife, so that they can help each other. Sexual problems can best be solved when the couples keep an open mind. But, when all else have failed, they can reach out to professionals in the particular area where they are having problem.
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